It was a
simple infatuation. Obviously. Hardly do we realize what it is like when we
are busy showing off brand new stationery, still crying over broken pencils and fighting for stolen erasers in grade four. The basic arrangement of the
students in the class room was roll-call wise. Due to major difference between
strength of girls as compared to boys, one girl had to sit between two boys on
a bench of three. Often, four on a bench. Above this permutation, how I always
wished to sit by 'his' side!
On day one, while other students were trying to interpret the class
teacher, impress her, chit chat with friends, give intriguing looks to
the new comers, I was already stealing glances at him. My eyes stuck at his face - his cheeks turned cherry red after a two month summer break, my
heart unrest at the glitter of his dove eyes and the gossamer of his shiny hair. Although, we knew each other
since past five years and had communicated quite often like other kids, this
year seemed a lot more different. He
caught me staring at him, chose to ignore and got busy listening to his friend,
talk; leaving me dumbfounded. Half a minute later, he glances back at me, this
time with a faint smile on his face tripping me to his cuteness
all over again. I revert back with a broad smile, his smile turns into a grin and that is
exactly when I lose my heart to him. He was the first one to make me realize we
have butterflies when we see something we like, he was the one I used to
daydream about and the one who taught me love is never about good looks, expectations,
expression and touch but about emotions, laughter and a lot of stolen glances
and smile. Of course, I got my chances to sit beside him. While the whole class
was suffering from an obsessive compulsive disorder of sitting at the edges or
exactly in the middle trying not to touch even the partner's bag, I was all the
more inclined to his side. I have cherished all those chances I ever got to sit
beside him and talk my heart out with a sheepishly coy smile especially when it
was our turn to sit on the last bench. Oh! It was reiterating and rebounding
with a whole lot of energy. Although I never confessed my heartfelt emotions in the
approaching four years he had his ways of knowing through varied questions and answers. I always
thought he had fallen for that fair beautiful girl in the class who had a
bovine personality. We liked each other's company but we had altercations and quarrels double than that yet the charm never faded. Four years of primary, prolonged and
discreet crush suppressed as our divisions changed and we chose to tread
different paths. Rest years of high school we only shared a formal gesture of
hello.
Two years after high school, we connected again. Thanks to social media that lessened the awkwardness. Same level of energy but with varied stories and experiences to share. How years later while reminiscing old times, he confessed that I was the only girl in the classroom he held hands with. There, my heart skipped a beat. It still felt special.
It's funny how we still cherish that time and enjoy talking about it. Out of all the people I met during all these years he still tops the list of my favorites not only as a crush but also as a great friend. Childhood crush has no reason. It is innocent, genuine often disrupted and unsettled but it lingers in memories forever. I know he is reading this and I know he will smile. I am glad our paths crossed back in time!
Two years after high school, we connected again. Thanks to social media that lessened the awkwardness. Same level of energy but with varied stories and experiences to share. How years later while reminiscing old times, he confessed that I was the only girl in the classroom he held hands with. There, my heart skipped a beat. It still felt special.
It's funny how we still cherish that time and enjoy talking about it. Out of all the people I met during all these years he still tops the list of my favorites not only as a crush but also as a great friend. Childhood crush has no reason. It is innocent, genuine often disrupted and unsettled but it lingers in memories forever. I know he is reading this and I know he will smile. I am glad our paths crossed back in time!